Two boys in my wake. When did I start telling time this way? I should probably just start having sex with many millions of boys until they all start running together. Then I can move towards a more efficient method of separating the seconds, like using watches or calendars or sun dials or changing tides. I've noticed that the more XP I earn, the more I resort to gender essentialism and sexual dichotomization in everyday discourse, even as I write papers and rattle off impassioned speeches against such notions. Poor boys, to have an enemy in me.* Still, even as I rail, my own self-inconsistencies frighten me (I can't decide how often to shave my legs- never or daily? Should: never. In practice: daily).
"You construct intricate rituals which allow you to touch the skin of other men."- yes. I'm not such a worthy adversary after all; I mean, what kind of crusader falls whimpering and pliant at the feet of her supposed enemies?

Serial monogamy is one thing, and here's a personal corollary: the getting is not always good, nor is it always possible, so in between relationships, one sometimes eats a lot of cereal and sits in front of the television while picking at one's cuticles for hours at a time, for days or weeks on end. Do you know what I'm talking about? If yes, oh no; more proof of a female condition. If no, I want nothing to do with you.
 

When Simon says shut up and hide,
He really meant shut up and hide.